Whenever I hand students a challenging math problem, they make a series of choices. It may feel to them like the adults in the room have all the power, but some of the most important learning moves they make are internal decisions: Do I decide to trust my teachers? Do I choose to value the work and believe that it matters? Do I know that I can improve when I put in effort? They might also be thinking about their perceived ability with the subject: Why does math always feel so hard? The answers to these questions become the script running through their heads as they solve the problem in front of them.
Most students don’t really think about the stories they choose to tell themselves and how much power those stories hold. Their patterns of thinking about each school activity and how they feel run on loop as they focus on getting everything done in a day. But these self-talk choices affect the effort students put forth and how successful they are at the work of learning. When we coach kids to become more self-aware of their thinking patterns, they begin to notice how much power their thoughts have over their persistence.
Self-Assurance or Self-Deprecation?
I lead professional development and serve as an instructional coach, so I support teachers and students to build lifelong learning habits. These habits include learning behaviors like using mistakes as information, asking for feedback about progress, and even visualizing how one’s brain is growing when learning new content or deepening understanding. Across ages and grade levels, it’s been especially helpful to think of learning opportunities as invitations rather than roadblocks. When deciding on an approach to solve a problem, the mental images of choosing to open an invitation or to halt at a roadblock are simple—and powerful—for students to visualize. Optimism and curiosity are key when we’re inviting students to engage with a new concept or a challenging task.
When we coach kids to become more self-aware of their thinking patterns, they begin to notice how much power their thoughts have over their persistence.
What happens when we reframe challenges as invitations? Students shift from showing what they already know to asking questions about what they don’t yet know. They move from avoiding mistakes to leaning into them for growth. They expect that new learning won’t always feel easy, and that’s OK.
A Tale of Two Students
Imagine I hand the same math problem to two different students. The first student groans before reading the whole problem, leaves to take a bathroom break and use the pencil sharpener, makes a quick guess about the problem’s answer, shows minimal work on the page, and is one of the first students to turn in their paper. Phew! the student thinks. I hurdled over that roadblock and I’m just glad to be done.
The second student takes a deep breath. The first read is confusing, so the student reads through the problem again and underlines information that might be important. The problem reminds the student of a similar one they worked hard to solve last week, so they reflect on previous strategies. After writing down an equation, the student asks the teacher, “Can I have some feedback before I start solving?” With feedback about parts of the equation that aren’t yet clear, the student thinks, This is hard, but I’m learning. My brain is growing. I’ve got this, one step at a time.
The two learners stepped into the same learning task with contrasting approaches. They showed different levels of effort, self-motivation, and on-task time. The first student focused on task completion and showed minimal effort. They didn’t self-monitor their understanding, use a resource to scaffold understanding, or ask any clarifying questions. The second student expected to understand the concepts, not to just complete the work, and showed a willingness to ask for feedback and revise their own thinking.
For many students, a challenge can cause a shutdown; they see a roadblock and just stop. Sometimes they wait for an adult to walk them through each step, sometimes they bubble over with frustration, and sometimes they disengage so that new learning doesn’t stick. None of those states create lasting understanding or prepare students for the many moments of challenge they will encounter beyond the classroom. But when we empower students to cultivate self-awareness and reflect, they can learn to make choices in the service of understanding and chase challenging tasks because they grow more.
How can we develop students’ skills to approach learning more like student #2 than student #1, in math or any class? Though we’re not in students’ heads, research by Carol Dweck suggests that hard work and effort are not fixed traits but depend largely on instructional and contextual factors in the classroom. All students can develop what Dweck calls academic tenacity, a set of skills that help students think beyond short-term concerns to long-term goals. From modeling to normalizing discomfort with taking risks, there’s a lot that we can do as educators to elevate our students’ expectations of themselves.
1. Model While the Kids Are Watching
One way to begin teaching students about self-talk is to model how we ourselves approach challenges. How do we show up when we’re overwhelmed or not sure where to start? Teachers are human, so it’s normal that we express frustration or disappointment at times. But after that initial reaction, how do we recalibrate and thoughtfully respond? Our words and actions can model a healthy response.
Try as I might to prepare for each possible variable in my classroom, there have been moments when I didn’t have quite enough materials in a science lab, or a fire drill happened in the middle of a lesson. I noticed that my students watched closely to see how I would show up as I processed my feelings and paused to rethink the situation. When students saw me take a slow, deep breath and choose flexibility, or reflect on what I was learning through the experience out loud, they learned from my actions and words. Our optimism through challenge normalizes the mindset to grow skills, not shut down. We want our students to internalize these messages and to support each other as part of a learning community.
2. Step Out of the Comfort Zone
During the discomfort that comes with hard work, it’s expected for students to feel frustrated or even completely stuck at times. To normalize this feeling, I’ve made the comfort zone and the growth zone more concrete. I’ve had students step into a hula hoop or another small circle on the ground to represent their comfort zone—the space where everything we do feels easy and familiar. It might be easier to stay in your hoop, but to grow, we need to step beyond that comfort zone into the growth zone. Students can practice literally stepping out of that first circle, so they can see and feel themselves going beyond the circle of familiarity. I’ve had many students tell me that they feel prouder of themselves when they accomplish something challenging instead of just finishing assignments. This is also growth mindset in action, where students care more about learning than looking smart.
To make this willingness to take academic risks become a habit, it’s important for students to notice and celebrate moments when confusing content becomes clear or when they complete a task on their own for the first time. One year, my students named these “mic drop” moments. Just before dismissal each day, we’d gather to share aloud their mic drop moments of the day. “I used to get stuck on my multiples of 7, but today I answered all my multiples in less than one minute!” one student would say. The rest of the class would celebrate with that student, holding their imaginary mic in one hand and yelling, “Mic drop!” together.
3. Spotlight Student Effort
When students need a confidence boost, help them remember past times when they’ve done something hard. Even if that memory is unrelated to the current challenge, like how they once mastered a swimming stroke, it can still be a reminder of the persistence, focus, and clarifying questions that are all part of learning.
What happens when we reframe challenges as invitations? Students shift from showing what they already know to asking questions about what they don’t yet know.
Sometimes, this is individual. I can sit one-on-one with a struggling writer who’s creating an outline for an expository essay and invite them to flip a few pages back in their notebook. “It took some time,” I might say, “but step-by-step last week, you outlined and drafted this essay about your favorite restaurant. What is your first step to write today’s outline?”
Other times, this is a whole-class conversation to nudge student ownership, self-awareness, and self-management. I might start a lesson by saying, “Today’s benchmark test takes attention to detail. Who wants to share how their inner coach’s self-talk might sound if the work gets tough?” Before they start the task, each student shares their self-talk plan in a small group and some even write encouragement for themselves on a sticky note: “I’ve got this.” “I’m taking a deep breath to help me focus.” “One step at a time.”
Our intentional teacher talk is another component of spotlighting student effort. Our comments highlight choices that help students actively engage. Here are a few ways that might sound:
- “Emma, I see you rereading your notes to remember the formula you need. Nice attention to detail!”
- “I see many students taking their time as they create an outline. Your first draft will be much more organized because of that careful planning.”
- “Martin, your clarifying question shows me that you want to understand this problem deeply. What strategies have you tried so far?”
Our words do more than just draw students’ attention to their positive learning choice; they can become our students’ self-talk over time and elevate their expectations of themselves as capable learners. So, when introducing a learning opportunity, shift away from a casual, “This is easy, guys! You’ll be done in no time!” Instead, convey your care and your high expectations: “Yes, this assignment is challenging. I have no doubt that you will rock it.”
Persisting for the Long Run
Academic resilience, persistence through discomfort, openness to new experiences—there’s room for growth when we extend ourselves to meet new challenges. Start with a reframe when those tricky moments come up in the classroom, so students can see the work ahead as an invitation to trust the process and become even stronger problem solvers. This can deeply influence the way they approach problems and learning in the future.
Reflect & Discuss
➛ In what moments of the school day do you think students’ self-talk is most pronounced or determinative?
➛ Do you agree that teachers’ own choices around challenge can be a powerful model for students? What is your own relationship to challenge? How can you make that more visible to students?
